Wednesday, May 14, 2008

At Last...

It's funny how a few days pass and you have so much to share that you postpone even longer. It always takes me a week or so after a trip to get back to my normal self. But...I have procrastinated long enough and I really do have tons to share. My family had decided to wait til I got home to celebrate my birthday, and they didn't disappoint. The night I got home, my dad had a chocolate strawberry cheesecake with 29 candles all prepared.I had brought my vintage cake toppers, which I must say, treated us with endless entertainment. Mumsy was especially taken with them, as we found out at breakfast.
I feel like, in order for you to realize why this trip was so special to me, I should fill you in a little. Over the past several years, "home" has not always been a place that was easy for me to go to. The last few years I lived there are flashes of illness, heartache, tragedy and confusion. When I was almost seventeen, a very dear friend of mine who suffered from severe depression, took his own life. Though this was not the cause of what would become my future path, it was a catalyst that opened up years of self doubt, anxiety and in some cases anger. I began to put the blame for my friends death onto myself; an umbrella of guilt that has only recently began to heal. After his death I developed an eating disorder, which to me, felt like the only control I had in my chaotic life. After I graduated high school, I never moved home again. I think it was just too stark a reminder of all the moments that felt so unbearable, somehow adding to my guilt. I know it was hard for my family. It wasn't them I was avoiding, but those memories. Only in the past few years, a time of immense personal growth, have I been able to go home and not have those old memories plague me. This trip was the longest period of time I have stayed at my parents since I left. Also, instead of feeling obligated to do a million things, and see a million people, I spent that time really getting to know my family...and enjoying it. So to me, every second of this trip was special.
We did have a few wonderful outings while I was there, but will save those since I have some other stuff to get to first. Like...my art swap piece from Cath at Big Cat's Emporium arrived yesterday! Woo Hoo! It is so springy and fun. I need to find a special place in my office to put it, but until then it honors the bookcase in the living room. Thanks so much Cath, I love it!
And in parting, here is a shot of what I managed to fit in my luggage. Three more packages of mostly fabric arrived yesterday from my mom, including most of the giveaway items, so that is coming real soon. Keep a look out. Also, I finished 2 more Dear Jane blocks last night, but couldn't get good pics, so as soon as I can get outside in the sun I will post those. Have a great Day everyone!

9 comments:

lil said...

Stacy, glad you had a nice stay with your family
and all these cakes, yummy yummy, especially strawberry cheese,hmmmmmm

Barbara at Oodles and Oodles said...

I'm glad you had a nice trip home (and it was fun to see your picture!)

Sandra said...

Wahoo Stacy, we did have a great time didn't we, come again soon. We can catch up on some more projects!

RobinE said...

Those cake toppers are so cute! And don't get me started on that cake... it just sounds too tasty! I'm so glad to hear that your trip was such a success in so many ways. Makes it extra special. (And makes me long for a vacation!)

BigCat said...

It arrived. That is great. I'm so glad you like it.

It sounds like it was a wonderful trip home too. I am so pleased for you. I really admire the way that you are so willing to share your story on your blog - even the hard bits.

Kenningtons said...

I'm so glad you had such a good time and you were able to really enjoy yourself!

Juddie said...

Glad to hear that you had a good trip ...

I hope you have ever more happy times with your family in the future :-)

Tipper said...

Sounds like you reached a milestone of life on this special visit home. I'm happy for you!

I wish I had the cake toppers-how cute!

Bloom said...

Thank you for sharing your story with us all. That takes courage. What a tough thing for you to have endured at such a young age. I am really pleased for you that you are in a 'better place' these days & that you can enjoy your family.